Letter To Upcoming Mothers, Episode 2.

Letter to upcoming Mothers 2

I have a story to tell!

As a mother, please do not abandon your children for any reason either by divorcing their father, leaving the man because of challenges or anything. Do not think of abandoning your children while you are still alive. 

Move closer to them, have conversations with them, it is not only about money but knowing their emotional well-being. 

What about their academics? Don't be alive and your children will remain in one position academically. Engage them. 

What about their mental health? How  you behave to your spouse in the presence of your children has lots to do with their mental health. Do not fight your spouse in the presence of your children.

How much sacrifice can you give because of your children? How many length and extra effort can you make for them to be successful? Can you pray and fast for them? Are you not a type of mother, who only party abd ignore your children? 

As an upcoming mother, develop a closer relationship with your children, engage in conversations with them, be their best friends,.know what they are passing through. Most children are really battling through so much, some gets traumatized probably as a result of rape, masturbation, abortion because there is no one to tell.

Why I'm I saying all these, I have a story to tell.

" I am Adeola by name and I am the first child of my parents together with a junior sibling who is a boy. I was not brought home in an organized home and this affected my journey, made me get traumatized, depressed and caused so much heart pain to me". 

It has started that my father lost his job. After the loss, things became hard for us to eat. After some time, my mum said she could no longer cope she left my jobless father with 2 kids. After she left, my Dad took me to my grandma as little as I was and took up my junior brother. 

After a few years, I got to know that my mum had remarried to another man. My grandma was taking good care of me, I run errands for her, sell her stuffs for her because she sells pure water and do the necessary house chores and she also advised that I learn fashion designing until my dad's junior sister graduated from school and got back home.

My grandmother had no say any more but her daughter does everything and she ( my grandma) supports anything her daughter says. I used to attend a private school but my dad's junior sister stopped me saying she also attended a public and that is what fits me.

That was where my depressed started. I used to be a brilliant girl but the problem I face each time at home affected me phycologically and academically. Most times, my sister lies that I start, I have a boyfriend, and so many lies that made my grandma hated me and anything my father comes, she pretends as if she treats me well but I could not speak out. 

My self esteem went out drastically, I could no longer do the things I used to do like reading, singing, having conversations with my friends about academic work that one of my friend's mother called me one day but I could not tell her anything. She knew something was wrong but unfortunately, she could not help, she prayed for me and each time I go to their house, she encouraged me to hold on to my faith but those were just mere words to me.

The problem encountered was becoming unbearable for me but I endured as said by my friend's mum, until one day when my grandma said she could not find the cooperative money she brought home the previous day. I was given the worst beating of my life because of the money which I did not steal. The money was stolen by my sister but when I caught her earlier on, she threatened me that she will kill me if I confess. The fear in me could not make me confess. 

Alas, my grandmother sent me packing out of her house as young as I was. I was only 16 years of age. Who will accept me what the question on my mind as I pack to leave. I went to my friend's place only for her mum to reject me. Hmmmm... I was lonely and sad because I do not have a phone talk more of having my father's number. I went to check our former house, only to hear that he has packed out two years back and I did  not know.

Where do I turn to? The only hope I had was already in vain. On my way walking about, I met another classmate who happens to be a guy. I explained my predicaments to him and he said I should follow him home that he would take me. When I got to his place, I discovered that he lives with his father and his brother alone. 

The father welcomed me and  showed me to the guest room and I began to stay with them until after some time that my friend's elder brother started making sexual advances to me. One thing led to the other and I  got pregnant. Well, the father accepted me with the pregnancy and I continued living but I could no longer continue my education. 

Meanwhile, I was still learning my fashion designing and after I dropped out, I focused more on my fashion designing work.

After nine months, I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. I was happy and the father of my child was happy as well as his father and my friend. Let me remind you that my family do not know my whereabout. 

I know you are enjoying my story, but the story just began. Kindly stay patient to know what happened to me and see the reasons why upcoming mothers have many work to do. Marriage is not a joke!!

©️ Joy Adebimpe Bepo

      Iperindo Ijesa